Let’s face it, Barack Obama is a good-looking, overachiever (even in these 9 Photos of Barack Obama Drinking and Smoking). He became the first African American President of the Harvard Law Review and the first African American President of the United States, but did you know he won a bunch of other awards no one cares about? I can’t really blame the Nobel Peace Prize panel for handing out the award to a good-looking person, Megan Fox continues to win my coveted “Tony DiGerolamo’s Hardest Boner Award.” (I would even sing her “The Boner Song.”) Let’s take a look at the 9 Most Obscure Awards Won By Obama.
9. Best Looking President
Buzz Dash put up an Internet poll asking you to vote for the best looking President. Nominees included: Barack Obama, Ronald Regan, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton. Ronald Regan and Richard Nixon, really BuzzDash? What woman would want to bag wrinkly old Ronnie or sweaty thug Nixon? You know there were like 40 other presidents, and you’re not even taking into account Sarah Palin when she gets elected. Who wouldn’t vote for these cans?
8. “Esquire’s” Fourth Best Dressed Man
Well, you can’t be number one in everything. Give George Clooney and Brad Pitt some credit. They don’t come to your job and legislate and inspire the free world, so don’t come to “Esquire” and be a self aggrandizing fancy pants.
7. “The Audacity of Hope” featured on the ALA Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults
Again, Obama’s book won just like the “Full Metal Alchemist” comic book and “Fat Hoochie Prom Queen”.
6. “The Audacity of Hope” won a Nibbie
The Galaxy British Book Award (also known as the Nibbies) was awarded to Barack Obama for his book. Don’t sound too impressed, it was also given to a book called “Dinosaurs Love Underpants,” which we assume is about a Joe Biden fetish.
5. Askmen.com’s Most Influential Man 2009
There’s nothing more validating than winning a poll of 200,000 guys that troll the Internet all day. The President joins such luminaries as Harvey Levin from TMZ, Ryan Seacrest and Eva Mendes’ rack. Yeah, he’ll sure be able to use this as ammo in his negotiations with Iran.
“How am I not more influential than the president, Harvey?”
“Well, Ryan, unlike you, the president’s not a d**che.”
4. Adopted By Crow Nation
Wow, this is going to make the birthers all hot and bothered again. Barack Obama was “adopted” by the Crow Nation in May 2008. It’s an honor and a privilege, and now he can cut in lines at casinos.
3. “GQ’s” Game Changer of the Year
Nothing says “leadership” more than getting an award from a magazine full of preening, self-obsessed, clothes horses like the guys at “GQ.” When your economy is in tatters and your citizens out of work, it’s nice to know your President will still have access to a catalog of $5000 Gucci wallets and pictures of Don Draper.
2. Chicago Music Awards
Dedicated to Obama in 2008 because no one has had more influence in the Chicago music scene than one of their local politicians. It was like when my senator, Frank Lautenberg cut that album.
1. Ad Age’s Marketer of the Year 2008
Americans make great whores because we can and will sell you anything. Obama sold us on an amazing dream. It’s only the foreclosures that are ruining it. Fortunately, we’ll all be dead from waiting for universal health care soon enough.
Do you love politics? Check out the 10 Worst Barack Obama and John McCain Halloween Costumes and Barack Obama photobombing a cute couple.
Posted by Tony DiGerolamo who voted for Ralph Nader during the Esquire “Best Dressed” poll.
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