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"Grumpy old man" doesn't quite cover it, Ted. Not only were you corrupt, you didn't even have the time to learn how the Internet worked. Some Republicans have to have huge sex scandals to get ousted, but not you. You did everything old school, as in the 1850's.
Ted Stevens Is Inducted In The Political Hall of Fame
Conspiracy theorist aren't all just homeless guys that scream at fire hydrants, some can still afford a computer. And whether they wear a hat made of tinfoil or host the Glenn Beck show, you can be sure that their batsh*t craziness has been boiled down into something that sounds logical even when you're on your meds.
10 Craziest Conspiracy Theories
Most high school history teachers will tell you how great President Lincoln was, but did you know he was one of history's greatest *ssh*les? That face on Mount Rushmore might as well be two giant butt checks and a taint and his stove pipe hat is nothing more than a big "F*ck you!" to every citizen of the United States.
10 Reasons Why Abe Lincoln Was An A-Hole
Comedy.com has pulled in a few favors with our contacts in Washington (thanks liberal media elite!) and got a hold of the new Government Healthcare Form that you'll be filling out once Obama passes his health care plan. Print your copy and start filling it out now, it's the only way you'll be able to cut down the eight hour wait you're going to have if you need to see a doctor.
Comedy.com Sneaks A Peek At The New Government Healthcare Form
Since news outlets have abdicated their responsibility for investigative journalism long ago, we here at Comedy.com have decided to do some digging. And when we say "digging" we mean spending ten minutes googling "Rat F*rts" and our own names. But today we actually googled how your tax dollars are being wasted, enjoy this post while you wait in line for your government cheese.
5 Ways Your Tax Dollars Got Wasted This Week
Fans of Congressman Ron Paul and economic nerds everywhere are excited by the promise of HR 1207, a bill that would audit the Federal Reserve and finally make Chairman Bernanke stop using hundred dollar bills to wipe his *ss. It looks good for the measure to pass, but what information might come to light if the Fed is audited? Would it be a dark, sinister mystery like Tom Hanks discovered in "The DaVinci Code"? Or would it be a retarded jumble of historical bullsh*t like Nicolas Cage found in "National Treasure"?
10 Things Hidden In The Federal Reserve
Despite the fact that Democrats sat like quite sheep for eight years while George W. Bush mangled the English language, Republicans thought it wise to shout during his speech last night. A Republican from South Carolina yelled "Liar!" when Obama said illegal immigrants would not get healthcare.
10 Other Things Yelled During Obama’s Health Care Speech
No one ever said you needed to be a genius to read a teleprompter or have perfect hair. Trust us, if those wooden mannequins that read the news every night were any dumber, they'd have to hire an assistant just to make sure they kept breathing. You think your local cue card monkey is bad, wait till you see the Top 10 Dumbest People in News.
10 Dumbest People Who Deliver Our News
Do you know why Obama is such a great speaker? Because he rewrites his speeches more times than Paris Hilton has banged the pool boy. Comedy.com has obtained an exclusive first draft of his speech to school children before Rahm Emanuel had time to take an axe to it.







