After Glenn Beck’s recent comment on “Fox & Friends” declaring President Obama a racist, advertisers have been pulling out of “Glenn Beck” faster than Bill Clinton pulls out of an intern. We guess Beck has learned the hard way that freedom of speech doesn’t mean you can say whatever the hell you want without consequences. There has to be some logic or (God forbid) truth to it.
We kid Mr. Beck a quite a lot here at Comedy.com, but the truth is that we love him. We love him in a way that a cop loves a criminal. Without him, we wouldn’t have jobs. His idiotic ramblings are the source of at least 50 percent of our material. We need him to stay on the air for our own economic interests, but without advertisers that isn’t going to happen. So here is a list of 5 Companies That Would Still Advertise On “Glenn Beck.”
5. Enzyte For Natural Male Enhancement
Angry men (who are angry because they have little penises) still love you, Glenn! That’s a demographic that you will always hold.
4. Chicken Manure
It’s like that old saying goes, “A chicken sh*t salesman loves a chicken sh*t.” Okay, that’s not really an old saying but we just wanted to call Beck a chickensh*t. We feel that word is under used these days.
3. NASCAR
Drunken hillbillies who watch NASCAR are incapable of coming up with any ideas of their own. They need Glenn Beck to tell them how to think and what to say.
2. L.L. Bean
They have been providing the uniform of the American Conservative Douche Bag for over 80 years. They are not only Glenn Beck’s base, they’re his favorite store.
1. Douche Bags
There comes a time in every douche bag’s life when he wonders what using an actual douche bag feels like. Which brand they use will depend on which one has the balls (no pun intended) to stand with Glenn Beck and advertise on his show.
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