Constituency: Louisiana Date entered Congress: January 1997 How she’s sexy: As the hot kindergarten teacher in town that you would be late home for after dropping the kids off at their grandmother’s house. She probably would be a cheap drunk and get giggly after a single glass of wine. Constituency: Washington Date entered Congress: January 2001 How she’s sexy: When you get busted for running down the street in the middle of the night pantsless with a baggie of weed on your person, she’s the hot lawyer that gets the charges dropped for you. Even though she’s way too professional and barely looks you in the eye, it’s enjoyable to watch her walk away in her brown knee-length lady lawyer skirt. Constituency: Minnesota’s 6th district Date entered Congress: January 2007 How she’s sexy: She’s the batshit crazy, rich-as-hell cougar who, even though she’s never said a nice word to you, you would still bang the crap out of her on a pool table in full view of a stuffed grizzly bear while her husband is down the hall drinking his life away. Constituency: Ohio’s 11th district Date entered Congress: November 2008 How she’s sexy: Marcia Fudge would be your wife or girlfriend’s almost best friend or a coworker she’s friends with. She’s no supermodel, but she’s certainly attractive enough and cool enough that you’d be thinking dirty, dirty things about her at the company picnic while you’ve got a mouth full of grilled cheeseburger. Constituency: South Dakota’s At-large district Date entered Congress: June 2004 How she’s sexy: She’s the woman who works in the insurance company a few floors up in the same buildng you work in that you always see on the elevator but never really have anything to say to her, mainly because she’s seems too busy staring blankly at the floor numbers trying to ignore you. But oh yes, if that elevator ever got stuck for any significant length of time, you’re sure she’d come around. Constituency: Minnesota’s 4th district Date entered Congress: January 2001 How she’s sexy: She’s the cute, quiet girl in the office who is too focused on getting ahead in her career to really have time for idle chit-chat, even with co-workers, but you know once she gets home, she sits alone in her apartment drinking mixed drinks and watching movies from the 80s wondering where her Prince Charming is. Could be you… Constituency: California’s 47th district Date entered Congress: January 1997 How she’s sexy: She looks like she would be your boss somewhere– the kind of boss that if you lived in a TV show, you would bag by the end of the second season on a business trip to Canada, but neither one of you would ever say anything about it. However, there would be several episodes where you’re in her office at least 15 minutes a day talking with her about how it was “just a thing” and not an indication of any kind of real relationship, though you know that you both would go at it again one more time right here and now if you could get away with it. Constituency: Arizona’s 8th district Date entered Congress: January 2007 How she’s sexy: She’s the sexy shrink you might go to when the bad relationships and drinking finally catch up to you. She may do a good job of solving your mental crises, but she’s also more than well aware that you’ve been trying desperately to catch a glimpse up her skirt for the past three months, though she’ll never bring it up. Ever. Constituency: California’s 45th district Date entered Congress: April 1998 How she’s sexy: Without the shoulder-padded suit, she could pass as the girl’s basketball coach from your old high school. Not the short-haired butch one, but the cute one that you would have gladly hit like a surprise tree on a ski slope. Constituency: New York Date entered Congress: January 2009 How she’s sexy: In that wholesome Betty Crocker sort of way, where she looks like she goes to church on a regular basis and makes a mean apple pie and says “phooey” when she meant to say “shit”, but behind closed doors probably owns enough harnesses and strapons and pairs of fishnets to embarass most of the strippers you met in college
We elected them to office. They make our laws and help to chart the course of the country, but rarely are the women who serve in the US Congress the subject of pure, rude sexual objectification. A female musician or athlete can expect to have to do a lingerie spread in Maxim at some point, but not our female politicians. And that’s too bad, because while there aren’t a whole lot of supermodels on Capitol Hill, there are lookers. Say you wouldn’t hit it under some circumstance or another and you’re a damn liar.
10. Mary Landrieu (D-LA)
9. Maria Cantwell (D-WA)
8. Michelle Bachmann (R-FL)
7. Marcia Fudge (D-OH)
6. Stephanie Herseth Sandlin (D-SD)
5. Betty McCollum (D-MN)
4. Loretta Sanchez (D-CA)
3. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ)
2. Mary Bono (R-CA)
1. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY)
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